Lana Mir - Lana Mir Album Review

The panel judging the worst cover version of all time had clearly not had chance to listen to Lana Mir's eponymous debut album. This is because in awarding the dubious honour to Britney Spears' turgid reworking of Joan Jett's I Love Rock N' Roll, they failed to take into account Ms. Mir's punt at the title via her shot at The Stone Roses I Wanna Be Adored, a versioning that could've been in every way been a contender.

In turning one of the definitive British songs of the last century into a truly grotesque bossa nova paced cheese fest (If you really want to imagine the result, think what would've happened if Astrud Gilberto had grown up in Moss Side) Mir is undoubtedly going to put many people's backs right the hell up, but bless, she's originally from Russia but now living in New York.

Still struggling to control my indigence, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when I found that the following track Tears Are Not Enough doesn't drive a similar wrecking ball though ABC's classic oldie, it being instead another slab of Carpenters-esque gloop that makes Take That sound like Napalm Death. It's a lazy Sunday morning feeling that runs through most of the former cocktail waitresses work. Opener Say You Need Me leaves you screaming "No", whilst the inconsequential fluff of Summertime sounds like it should be soundtracking a new mobile network advert.

Just a not great record? Well yeah, but the real disappointment here is that Bruce Driscoll (Of Ivy and Blondfire) was involved, meaning that someone with real pop sensibilities - listen to Blondfire's obscure but terrific gem Pretty Young Thing if you need proof - and who should've known better dropped the ball somewhere. There are a couple of moments, particularly on We Started Something and the less pedestrian Beautiful Day, on which a glimmer of promise shines through. But the best advice would be not to eBay that cocktail shaker just yet.

Andy Peterson