Backyard Dogs

Errrr... riiiiight.

Backyard Dogs, while occasionally amusing, is about as extreme as green ketchup, the story of two hard-drivin' guys (Scott Hamm and Walter Emanuel Jones) who want only one thing in life: to become pro wrestlers (well, to get on pay-per-view at least) by working their way up the backyard wrestling circuit (oh yes, there's a circuit). To get there, they hire a sexy promoter (Bree Turner), who documents their matches and spices them up with commentary she puts on the Internet (huh?) -- as she puts it, "from Yahoo to Hotbot."

Well that's really all it takes to make someone a star, right? Shot on video, Backyard Dogs has a certain scruffy, low-budget appeal, mainly because the acting is not nearly as bad as you'd expect. Hamm and Jones are good-naturedly amusing, and they do excellent stunt work opposite both real and phony wrestlers. But it's Turner who makes the movie even remotely watchable -- she's plenty cute and says her silly dialogue with a straight face. But hey, with credits ranging from Dancer in She's All That to Dancer #1 in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, you can be sure you're getting professionalism.

Bottom line is that wrestling fans will love this film, everyone else will probably despise it if sober. Case in point: This is the only film I've ever discovered that has a 1.0 rating on the Internet Movie Database user polls -- the lowest possible rating you can have. Now that's saying something.

Dogs drive nice cars.