10 Of The Worst 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' Reviews
Critics haven't exactly been kind to the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, which opened in US theatres on Friday. Scoring just 20% on Rotten Tomatoes, the Michael Bay produced reboot has suffered a critical mauling, yet it's still predicted to rake it in at the weekend box office. But before you head off to the cinema for 100 minutes of disappointment, here's 10 of the film's most damning reviews to help change your weekend plans.
"Too-brief thrills only shine a harsher light on the film's laborious pacing and cringeworthy one-liners spilling from the maws of the ninja teens. Soren Anderson If ever there was a movie that should not have been made, this is that movie." -Kyle Anderson, Entertainment Weekly
"A reminder that we should keep our guard up when we suspect creative choices coming from the stockholders' perspective." - Jordan Hoffman, The Guardian
"The comedy-action mash-up is as weird as if the Dark Knight took a break from belting the Joker to plug Pizza Hut and bang out a hiphop beat on his nunchucks." -Kyle Smith, New York Post
More: 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' is Awful - But It's Gonna Take $60 Million
"If you thought Michael Bay had forgiven Megan Fox for saying he was "like Hitler," this new April O'Neil role is proof he hasn’t." -Amy Nicholson, LA Weekly
"I had to draw on my own ninja training and reflect intensively on the transitory nature of all phenomena, just to fend off the profound yearning for death." -Andrew O’Hehir, Salon
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"It has no reason to exist save for entrapping the next generation of kids while hoping to ensnare adults who grew up with the property the first time around." -Scott Mendelson, Forbes
"A film so overworked to ensure mass-market appeal that it loses the charming oddness and loose goofiness that has allowed these characters to endure." -Chris Cabin, Slant
Next, why was one reviewer left 'shell-shocked'?
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"It's just kind of a mess, as unfocused and immature as the four mutant turtles at its core. Stuff happens, stuff blows up and this is probably a good time to mention that Michael Bay produced the film." -Bill Goodykoontz, Arizona Republic
"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles doesn't so much provide brainless enjoyment as it pummels the viewer into submission. "Shell-shocked" is a reasonable description of the experience." -
James Berardinelli, ReelViews_