The 10 Most Ridiculous, Annoying, Infuriating Things Gwyneth Paltrow Has Ever Said

Gwyneth Paltrow is a very annoying celebrity. There, we said it. It might seem harsh, but really the actress and former half of the now 'consciously uncoupled' Martins just doesn’t help herself thanks to the seemingly endless stream of annoying and downright infuriating things she comes out with. This time it’s that “water has feelings," last week it was likening her online experiences to “war”. It seems somewhere along the way between winning and Oscar and founding her ‘lifestyle’ brand GOOP, Gwyneth has lost that little part of her brain which should cause her to think before she speaks. If you’re not convinced that Paltrow has jumped the shark into annoying celebrity territory then may we present, ‘the 10 most ridiculous, annoying, outrageous, infuriating, whatever you want to call them things' Gwyneth Paltrow has said. Really these are just the tip of the iceberg.

1. Gwyneth likes to remind us all that she’s friends with Jay-Z because he’s a rapper and that’s cool, which makes her cool even though she married Chris Martin. The actress said, “I don’t hold on to fear as much as I used to, because I’ve learned a lot about genuinely not caring what strangers think about me. It’s very liberating. It’s very empowering, and I’ve learned a lot of that from Jay - Shawn Carter - Z, because his approach to life is very internal. It’s a very good lesson to learn.”

2. On hallucinating during a hike in Sedona, Arizona, Gwyneth recalled, “I was starting to hike up the red rocks, and honestly, it was as if I heard the rock say, ‘You have the answers. You are your teacher.’ I thought I was having an auditory hallucination.” This one actually could be the answer as to why she talks such nonsense, the rocks made her do it.

3. “I would rather die than let my kid eat Cup-a-Soup,” the actress told Conan, exaggerate much, Gwyneth?

More: This Week, Gwyneth Paltrow Said Water Has Feelings

1. “I think that women, especially women in my job, come to me because they know I’m very loving and nonjudgmental and I’m not competitive, and I’ve been through a lot.” It’s the non judgemental part that gets us here. What if we came for advice with a Cup-a-Soup?

2. Unsurprisingly, Gwyneth drew the irk of mothers and humans in general when she effectively said her job of starring in one or two films a year was much harder than anyone else's. ”I think it's different when you have an office job, because it's routine and, you know, you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening," said Paltrow. "When you're shooting a movie, they're like, 'We need you to go to Wisconsin for two weeks,' and then you work 14 hours a day and that part of it is very difficult. I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as, of course there are challenges, but it's not like being on set.”

Next: 'Concious uncoupling', 'war' and other Gwyneth gems.

1. Then there was the statement, she brought out after separating from Chris Martin. "We have always conducted our relationship privately and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and co-parent, we will be able to continue in the same manner,” wrote Gwyneth, inventing both a new pharse and a whole new level of pretentiousness.

1. Since Gwyneth knows everything, especially when it comes to other peoples feelings, she decided to tell Americans how they should have reacted to 9/11. “I find the English amazing how they got over 7/7." she said. "There were no multiple memorials with people sobbing as they would have been in America. There, they are constantly scaring people but at the same time, people think nothing of going to see a therapist.”

2. Proving she's actually been annoying for longer that we first though, a 29 year old Gwyneth once said, “Beauty fades! I just turned 29, so I probably don’t have that many good years left in me.”

3. Of course last week, the actress compared her online experiences to war, "You come across [online comments] about yourself and about your friends, and it's a very dehumanising thing. It's almost like how, in war, you go through this bloody, dehumanising thing, and then something is defined out of it.” Hopefully to Gwyneth, almost like war actually means nothing like armed combat at all.

More: Actual Soldier Responds To Gwyneth Paltrow's Foot-In-Mouth Comment. And He's Not Happy

1. Finally, down to earth Gwyneth said, “I am who I am. I can’t pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year.” No you can't, but you could try using a little empathy some times Gwyneth.