Hard Ticket To Hawaii - Movie Review

Rating: 1.5 out of 5

As the movie's über-cheesy theme song tells us, "It's a hard ticket to Hawaii / It's not paradise all the time."

In Andy Sidaris's ridiculous 1987 cheesefest, a soap star (Ronn Moss) and a bevy of Playmates find themselves running afoul of a drug smuggling operation and a toxic killer giant snake. This is all of course an excuse to bust out Sidaris's motto of "bullets, bombs, and babes" -- and the liner notes even offer a chapter by chapter rundown of where you'll find each "B."

You're just as well ignoring the movie, however, unless you really need to see the bad acting, atrocious special effects, and enormous big hair-styles. Instead, check out the DVD's bonus features, which give you a behind-the-scenes look at Sidaris's filmmaking (and, inexplicably, a photo shoot with Julie Strain at Sidaris's house [Arlene Sidaris writes to tell us the photo shoot is for an upcoming coffee table book they are publishing. -Ed.]). As Sidaris puts it, "this will either be really great or it won't," and it's probably the latter, but at least it's something different.

Facts and Figures

Year: 1987

Run time: 96 mins

In Theaters: Sunday 1st March 1987

Production compaines: Malibu Bay Films

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 1.5 / 5

IMDB: 4.4 / 10

Cast & Crew

Director: Andy Sidaris

Producer: Arlene Sidaris

Screenwriter: Andy Sidaris

Starring: Ronn Moss as Rowdy Abilene, Dona Speir as Donna Hamilton, Hope Marie Carlton as Taryn, Harold Diamond as Jade, Rodrigo Obregón as Seth Romero, Cynthia Brimhall as Edy Stark, Patty Duffek as Pattycakes, Wolf Larson as J.J. Jackson, Lorien Green as Rosie, Rustam Branaman as Kimo, David DeShay as Ashley, Michael A. Andrews as Michael / Michele

Also starring: Arlene Sidaris, Andy Sidaris